


So Far Away

by Slimsy_69



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-07 02:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19076017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slimsy_69/pseuds/Slimsy_69
Summary: (Hanahaki disease AU)Friends. Friends was all that they are. He knew about his abnormal attraction towards men, but he wasn't sure why he held these feelings towards his best friend.All he could do was watch his love from the nosebleeds as his body festered from the inside.(Contains MAJOR character death. Linkin Park, their band members, and any lyrics that may be referenced are not owned by me. This story is purely fiction.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Linkin Park or anything affiliated with them.
> 
> (I'm not a history major, so excuse any historical inaccuracies.) 
> 
> (I also apologize in advanced. 😔)

_**Watching from the nosebleeds...** _

_**I seemed to falter and die...** _

_**The roses, the feelings, the love...** _

_**The hidden secrets began to unwind...** _

* * *

_"I had always seemed to have a strong connection with him. Ever since we had met at the start of our time in the war, he had been the greatest friend any guy could ask for. He was always my right-hand man. He would always horse around with me, partaking in any shenanigans I had wanted to do._

_We always threw crumbled up notes at each other when we were in our tents or bunkers. We were like fucking children, giggling and messing around. We were partners in crime. We would always have each other's backs, both in combat and in our camp._

_We were always so close. He held a huge portion of trust in me, as did I..._

_But I never had the strength to tell him any secrets. I didn't have the heart or the willpower to tell him my abnormality, my fatal flaw._

_Whenever we threw coins into the pond next to the camp, we always wished for something. I would usually wish for my abnormality to go away. Other times, I wished for someone that my abnormality would connect with._

_And my abnormality never did attract me to anyone, nor did it ever leave. My abnormality, which was my attraction towards men, was always there, but those feelings I held had never evolved into anything other than short bursts of lust or infatuation. I thought that nobody would ever fill that gap in my heart, or that no man would ever love me for who I was._

_But yesterday, as we were at the pond, I threw my coin inside. However, while He kept his eyes closed and his head directed down towards the pond, I gazed at his face, at his features. I stared at his fair skin, his soft lips moving softly as he inaudibly wished. The blazing light from the setting sun had casted an orange glow onto Him, giving him a sort of lustrous shine. He looked like a goddamn angel._

_After that, my wish had changed._

_All I could think to wish up was for Chester Bennington to hold love for me like the love I held for him."_

* * *

He laid in his bed, gazing at the written pages in his lap. He closed his journal softly, his eyes shutting tiredly. 

Mike Shinoda settled the journal under his pillow as he turned of his flashlight, coming out from under his covers. He set the item in his bed as he plopped his head onto his pillow with a sigh.

As hard as he tried, he couldn't close his eyes. He couldn't find a comfortable spot in his bed. He couldn't go to sleep. 

He tried his best to fall into a slumber, but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

It wasn't until 15 minutes of laying in bed that he began to sleepily close his eyes. He began to see his head play images of both him and Chester, the two talking happily and kissing passionately. As his sleep finally began to set in, a sudden need to cough had quickly awoken him, interrupting the blissful dreams. 

Mike coughed into his hand as he let the feeling leave. He felt something in his hand, but shrugged it off, thinking it was probably just a runaway booger or phlegm that had escaped.

He flung the thing to the floor, failing to see that it was a lone, crimson-colored rose petal.

* * *

It had been two days since he had coughed up the rose petal. He hadn't expected it to come that quick. He hadn't expected the disease to fester so damn quick. 

Mike coughed into the toilet as he let more of the rose petals fall out of his mouth. He quickly cleared his throat and spat out a ball of phlegm.

To his worry, the ball was different than it would have been just days prior.

Blood. The phlegm was laced with blood. Bits of roses and broken thorns were dug deep into the disgusting thing. He stared at it fearfully as he began to think of his love for Chester. He began to think doubting thoughts, but he didn't allow himself to continue.

He quickly flushed the toilet and shook his head as he turned on the sink. He washed his hands and wet his face. He sighed as he lowered his head, his breath hitched.

All he could think of was Chester. He could only see that man he loved, the one that had no clue that he was killing him.

* * *

He shouldn't have gone along. Everyone knew his coughs had drastically set him back. His throat had hurt so badly. His breathing was so heavy and hard. He felt like his chest had only become more pained with every hour that went by. He was rotting from the inside. 

Yet, he still decided to tag along with the squadron. They needed to do a quick run to retrieve items that had accidentally landed a bit far off from camp. The Viet Cong territory was hazardous, but they needed the supplies.

His group member, Rob, had stayed at the front, along with Joe and Dave. He stayed at the back, Chester and Brad with him. There were a few others with them, but they had been new recruits. He hadn't had time to learn their names yet.

They had been going along well. They weren't too far off from the supplies when things had gone to shit.

The Viet Cong has ambushed them. The squadron knew it was expected, but they had still been caught off guard. It wasn't long till some soldiers died. Unfortunately, only the new recruits died. Poor guys had not had enough experience with the country's terrors.

The others began to retreat, the enemy forces still shooting at them. 

Mike ran as fast as he could, but began to fall behind the group. His lungs gasped desperately for air as he coughed violently. He continued to run, despite the pain. It hadn't taken too long before the shots had begun to subside.

He looked around, trying to find his group. There was nobody.

He felt something beginning to rise up into his throat, before he coughed out the thing in his mouth. He looked at the crimson-red rose drowned in a puddle of blood. It wasn't a petal anymore. It was a full-blown rose, thorns and stem included.

Panic began to set in as he saw the mess. He knew it wasn't long now. He was close. His breathing had slowly begun to grow small now. He looked up, trying to find anybody. He needed help. He needed someone.

He had looked just in time to find Chester, the man running to him.

"Mike, thank God!" Chester exclaimed as he kneeled down. "Hold on just a bit longer. I'll try to get the ot-"

The man paused as he spotted the bloody puddle now. He didn't focus on that though. Instead, he saw the rose. Slowly, dots were beginning to connect.

As if right on queue, Mike coughed once more, letting out a bundle of rose petals and thorns. Chester stared at the scene in fear.

He hesitantly grabbed the flower, before putting it in front of Mike.

"Mike, who is it?" Chester asked as he grabbed his shoulder tightly.

The man shook his head slowly as more roses and blood spilled to the floor with the painful coughs. Chester threw the flower, grabbing him by both shoulders now, shaking him a bit.

"Who is it!? Tell me who the hell it is!" 

Mike let out sobs of pain as he lifted his head weakly.

"It's..." Mike weakly spoke as he collapsed to the floor, his final breaths coming quickly. "It's you... Chester... It's you..."

The leaner man backed away, his thoughts beginning to run rampant. He shook his head in disbelief as he began to run away, back to the group, leaving behind Mike.

* * *

All he could think as Chester fled was that he didn't want to be left alone. He wanted to be saved from this mess he had created. He wanted to be saved from the area he was stranded in. There wasn't anyone here. No soul was here to listen to his anguished, wracking coughs and sobs. 

Everything had gone so wrong. Things had turned to madness. Everything he felt was wrong all along.

Everything was so far away now. Those words that were so hard to say were now becoming a painful memory. 

But he didn't regret it. He didn't hold any sort of thought about turning back time to before he said what he felt to Chester. 

He accepted his fate as he felt his breathing beginning to die away. He let himself speak his last few, unheard words.

"I forgive you..." Mike choked out one final time before his eyes slowly fluttered shut. "My love..."


	2. So Far Away...

Chester kept running ahead, his thoughts scrambled. He didn't know what to think of the confession Mike made. He wasn't sure how to feel. He didn't know how to react.

All he could do was worry about the man. All he could do was try to find their squadron and get help for his best friend.

* * *

I was too late...

I was too GOD DAMN LATE!!

We had gone back to Mike's location, hoping for the best. I was praying silently as we jogged to the location.

When we had arrived, Mike's body had already gone limp. He had a puddle of blood and roses near him as his lifeless body held a small smile.

At first, I thought he had fallen unconscious. When we arrived, I tried to shake him awake. I tried so hard to wake him back up, but his lidded eyes didn't open. His chest hadn't risen and fallen anymore. His heartbeat had faded to nothing.

I began to cry as I shook his body, trying my best to wake him back to life. I screamed his name and shook him harder and harder. I was close to hugging him when Rob grabbed me, tugging me back as the others began to carry Mike's lifeless body. 

My tears streamed down my face as I watched his body depart without me by his side. I wanted to go with him, but Rob kept me behind so that I wouldn't hurt any more than I already did.

All I wanted was to see him. Regrets filled me for the things I failed to do.

* * *

Days had passed now since Mike has gone. The bunker we slept in was quieter now. I felt so lonely. 

Nobody would ever throw balled up notes at me anymore. Nobody would ever fuck around with me as we waded through the Vietnamese terrain. Nobody would be there to have my back like he did.

I was at the pond we would always throw our coins in. I was here alone.

Nobody would ever throw coins inside the pond with me now. Nobody would ever make a wish alongside me now.

I gazed at the tranquil, moonlit pond. All I could see was a thought-up reflection of Mike. I looked at the hallucination in pain.

I wanted to keep looking at Mike's beauty, but as I did, I began to cough lightly. I felt something stick to my hand as I finished coughing.

I looked to my hand and found only a lone rose petal.


End file.
